e're preparing for an arctic expedition. Our base camp is a small barn-like structure heated by a wood-burning stove. One of us has adopted a pet — a 'cucumber mole,' also known as a 'rattlesnake mole.' They look less like moles than downsized raccoons. When we smoke its fur, we get pleasantly high. The only problem is, when its fur comes into contact with human skin, it produces a profound numbing effect, limiting one's ability to move.

I'm trying to limit my smoking to half a pack per day, but it's an uphill battle. It's a bit easier now that I'm smoking mole fur as fast as cigarettes. "They breed faster than rabbits," someone says. "That's okay - I only brought one," comes the reply — just as I see another, this one quite large. Suddenly, dozens of them are running around, paralyzing our legs. We fall to the floor. Damn, I hope these things aren't fatal.