I imagine this will come as a bit of a shock, the Great Ridicholas writing "to" you, seeing as I'm usually Exaggerontificating "at" you, often from a lavish dais of some sort, at an event where you've ponied up some extremely large sum of money to avail yourself of the superb digital crystal ball that is my superb cranium. But do not despair, young Cyber Carnegies, for my teaching to you today is simple, albeit powerful.

Please attend to the following series of email missives between Yours Truly and British Potentate Prince Charles. The dialogue starts quite civily, but true colors eventually appear via a furious fusillade of fomentation. By Jove! But let us begin.

Call me the Laurence Oliver of the intelligensia (soft "g" pronunciation, of course) — or perhaps the thinking man's David Mamet — for I have concocted, conceived, and just plain damn come up with an idea involving the theatre that will make Rent look controlled, Cats look like Garfield's ersatz hairballs, and Le Mis seem like Le Miss!!! In short, my brainstorm is: 'Ware Wars: The Apple Computer/Star Wars Hyper-reality Musical Epic!!!

This particular column was born in a rather fascinating way: during the presidential campaign, Vice President Gore and I discovered that we were both enamored of sailing. We thus agreed to take to the seas together after all the electoral madness was over. There we were last week gliding with the gentle Caribbean zephyrs on my yacht, the DaVinci (named after fellow great Leo) &3173; Al, Tipper, myself, and my lovely Dante — when Big Al suggested, out of the blue, that I write my next column about what life will be like in the year 2020. Stunned to hear a universe-class idea originating from outside my own cranium, I almost defenestrated myself from the upper deck where we were enjoying cocktails. I then agreed to run it by a few of my nearest and dearest cybercronies.

Editor's Note: What follows are highlights from a special "Issues of the Internet" debate among three leading Presidential candidates: Bill Clinton of the Democratic Party, Republican nominee Bob Dole, and Ridicholas Exaggeronte of the Netocratic Party.

Candidates Clinton and Dole agreed to this special "cyber" debate in response to the growing importance of the Internet, as well as the surprisingly strong showing by Candidate Exaggeronte in the national polling data.

Washington, D.C - Just after midnight last night, deep in thought as I perched on the gigantic white-marble lap of the (fellow great, Abraham) Lincoln Memorial ­ and, by-the-by, mezmerized by his equally gargantuan marble shoes just below me ­ I experienced an electrifying epiphany, a veritable fusillade of enlightenment that caused me to make, in the flash of a ridicholasecond, an exaggeronumental decision. So, Gentle Reader, recline further back in your dilapidated BarcoLounger, pop open a "cold one" of Pabst Blue Ribbon or some other equally excrementious domestic brew, and imagine, if you will, a piercing blast of trumpets pealing out Copland's "Requiem for the Common Man" ­ for I have an important announcement to impart to you!

As I rocket across the globe, enjoying serious face-time with Silicon Valley CEOs, Hollywood bigwigs, Wall Street wizards, European Prime Ministers, and people from other planets, I often hear the same curious question warbled out at me by the likes of you, Gentle Reader, as I dash, say, from my private jet on the runway in Athens to the limousine that will take me to my summer home along the Aegean, to wit: "Ridicholas, will computers ever be able to replace people?"