Boofalo Beel

What stands out most at Euro-Disney, actually, is outside the Magic Kingdom, in an adjacent money pit called Festival Disney, an assortment of restaurants, boutiques and bars, located in the DMZ between the Magic Kingdom and the Disney hotel complex. The crown jewel of the entire Euro-Disney experience is Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show, known in these parts just as "Boofalo Beel."

It's John Wayne, Gary Copper, Dale Evans, Wyatt Erp, Chuck Conners, and all the rest of the images Europeans conjure when they picture the American West. Here's the come-on: "See a herd of stampeding buffalo, longhorn steer and as many Cowboys and Indians whooping and hollering right before your very eyes!"

It's an all-you-can-eat affair: sausage, ribs, chicken, corn on the cob, black beans, cornbread, and chili (which in Spanish translates to "Chili del Cowboy"). And the food ain't bad, if you like your grub served in a bent tin billy bucket. As the epitome of bad American manners, the diners for the show are instructed to bang their spoon on their plates and scream for more food.

But that's not all, folks! There are Cowboys and Indians, and bulls and cows, a fake stampede, rodeo clowns, lassos, and Annie Oakley, who is as sharp a shot as any Wild West cowgirl ought to be. The show ends with a herd of live buffalo — not mechanical! — grazing in front of you and then disappearing into the western sunset as mist drops over the set.

It isn't what Kate Moss would call rip-roaring fun, but more than a few Europeans seem to get behind the idea. Perhaps it's the antidote to Continental sophistication.

You want sophistication? Go 20 miles down the railroad tracks to sit with the beautiful people at Cafe de Flore in St.-German-des-Pres. Which we did, tired and spent, sipping citrons presse and nibbling petits fours, decompressing from our 48-hour spree of cultural annihilation.

Not all was lost. Funny how this extortion thing works. Four-year-old Mikey didn't protest in the least when we told him we were going to spend the afternoon at the Musee d'Orsay.